Goal Setting

By Ron Stubbs   

Over the next few days and weeks, millions of people from all over the world will sit down and try to figure out how to make 2005 a better year than 2004.  Some will decide to lose those extra pounds that have crept up on them over the years and become more health conscious. They will join a gym, work out for a week and quit because of all those good "reasons".  They simple don't have the time; schedule is difficult, lack of energy etc...then they will continue to pay the $100.00 per month to that same gym as a "make-up" because of feeling guilty for not working out.

     Others will make the vow that this is the year they finally give up tobacco for good. They have tried the patch, drugs and gum but this year willpower will do the trick. At least until the urge gets overwhelming because they don't know the "secret" to successful smoking cessation.

    Still others will decide that they need more money this year and will decide to work harder; even though they are working pretty darn hard as it is. Chances are this decision won't get the result they are hoping for because working harder rarely is the answer. There are millions of honest, hard working people in the world who work their entire lives and never get wealthy.

    Yes, a very large number of people just like you and me will make vows to the moon and stars to make changes for the better in 2005. Those great New Years Resolutions. And according to the experts; more than 90% will fail to achieve their resolutions, with most having abandoning them by the end of January.

    Then there is a tragic group of people who will think VERY briefly about how they would like to see things  change...but we also remember all the failed resolutions of years past and simply do nothing, hoping that "luck"  will make the changes for them.

    Finally, there is a small group of people who are committed to improving their lives. They are determined that 2005 will be different. They are committed to real change in their lives, real success...they have the dream and a plan...

    Want to know the secret?

One of the amazing things we have been given as humans is the unquenchable desire to have dreams of a better life, and the ability to establish goals to live out those dreams. Think of it: We can look deep within our hearts and dream of a better situation for ourselves and our families; dream of better financial lives and better emotional or physical lives; certainly dream of better spiritual lives. But what makes this even more powerful is that we have also been given the ability to not only dream but to pursue those dreams and not only to pursue them, but the cognitive ability to actually lay out a plan and strategies (setting goals) to achieve those dreams. Powerful! And that is what we will discuss in detail now: How to dream dreams and establish goals to get those dreams.
 

The foundation of goal-setting is laid in the love of the dream.

Is the dream a nightmare, or is it truly a dream? Many people are very skilled, say, as a musician only because their parents made them play when they were children, but they don't actually enjoy their playing to any significant degree. Where there is no desire, there is no passion for the goal. It's very hard to artificially generate a passion for something you don't love. That doesn't mean you can't enjoy success at it, however. Someone who has a passion for financial independence and the lifestyle it brings, can definitely do something they don't enjoy to achieve that goal. Clearly a life where one lives a life that one enjoys and one where you are doing what you love is superior to any other alternative, so as you think of mid-term and long-term goals, you want to think in terms of doing something that rewards you just for doing it. Something you might just do for the love of the experience itself. This is way more than just a great philosophy. It’s great Neuroscience.

 Desire drives emotion.

Emotion is fundamental to attention. Attention is necessary for acquisition. In other words: If you have to try and think about your goal and actually might forget about it from day to day or hour to hour, the goal could be worthwhile but it is very unlikely to ever manifest in reality. The vast majority of your brain function operates out of your awareness. Whatever the emotional and survival elements of the brain focus on (outside of your awareness) are what you are likely to be driven to move toward and away from. Your brain will focus on what will fulfill your desires and bring you into a desirable state of being. (This state differs from person to person. Some people need calm. Others excitement. There is no universal state of being that is desirable for everyone, though everyone does seem to benefit from the ability to be calm at least some of the time.) If you think it would be desirable to become a manager at your company, but you are emotionally being driven away from your work to find fulfillment elsewhere, your goal-setting is going to most likely to be met with a lot of frustration even if you are successful.

 Here is a certainty: Where you put your attention is where you are likely to go.

If you focus on what you don't want, you may very well find yourself getting it anyway. There is nothing metaphysical about this. Again, it's simple science. Whatever pictures you put in your brain are the only pieces of information your brain can utilize to direct the body toward or away from. If your response to your fear is phobic, your brain will do everything in it's power to move you away from the stimulus. In these cases, say the fear of extreme poverty can and will absolutely cause you to work hard to avoid poverty. A phobia and powerful fear can definitely move you away from something.

However, when you are thinking of choices that are neither phobic nor which you are passionate about, you have a very different situation. Your brain will lock onto these images and move you toward them. If there are many different pictures that don't have a common theme, you will simply move in multiple directions. This may not be a bad thing. If your goals are to be "a little of everything" that is very legitimate and could be very fulfilling. Most people however, have a sense of dream or purpose.

The first principle I want you to carve into your tablet of stone is that you are far more likely to achieve any goal if you are truly attached to it in some emotional way. (Does it bring out feelings of excitement, calm, passion, love, joy, intensity?)

The second principle I want you to write in your tablet of stone is that where your attention is largely determines what your outcome will actually be.

The third principle is that although long term goals are very useful, I am far more concerned about your short and mid term goals. Put the majority of your attention on the goals that are going to come to fruition (or not!) soon. Therefore: Set short-term goals that you can use to evaluate how your journey is going? (Ex. Are you having fun? Are you learning what you need to learn? Are you seeing how your current activity is directly related to your longer-term success?) Long-term goals are typically not compelling for most people. Everyone knows they should save $10,000 per year from now until retirement so they can retire with security, but less than 1% will actually do what they need. They will instead do what they want. Assume that you will do this as well (at least for now!).

Having a plan, a schedule, and a clear picture of the outcome are all critical to success. Then there are other elements including contingency plans and persisting in the face of adversity, among others. Don't lock yourself into an all or nothing date by which you MUST achieve something by.

 Let's start to apply the first three principles of goal setting. Take your time and enjoy this first process. If it's not fun, then you are thinking about someone else's life! This should be a RICH experience!

             1) Think of all the things in life that are important to you on every level. Contribution, love, sex, happiness, spending time with the family, doing work you are proud of. Write everything down that comes to mind. Leave five lines below this item for evaluation. Journal this. Write down at least 20 items.

            2) Next to each of these things, write a number from 1-10 (10 being most) in how much you really want this "item" in your life. This step is crucial. If you are anything but 100% honest with yourself you will sabotage the entire process.

             3) Next to each "item" above, write down one or two sentences that explains specifically how you will measure or know whether you are on track to meet this goal at ninety days. If you wrote that you want a yacht, a spouse, a new house...you probably won't have those things in 90 days although stranger things HAVE happened. You’ll need to decide how to show what level of progress you want to experience by that 90 day mark.

 Here is the big picture: Life is too short to not pursue your dreams. Someday your life will near its end and all you will be able to do is look backwards. You can reflect with joy or regret. Those who dream, who set goals and act on them to live out their dreams are those who live lives of joy and have a sense of peace when they near the end of their lives. They have finished well, for themselves and for their families.

Now all it takes is action….