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RON STUBBS No Iffin Way or Slaying the IF Monster No Iffin Way or Slaying the IF Monster by Ron Stubbs I recently wrote an article about quitting. Not how to quit your job, your relationship or your life but examining how to quit those things that are running your life. So what happens if we “quit”? If you quit doing something that you perceive you must do, you may just find out that you didn’t have to do IT at all? When you quit what you perceive you have to do, you begin to discover what you want to do. But inside most of us lurks a dangerous foe. A challenger so deep, dark and scary that some people, even though they want to change their lives, never take that first step. Somewhere…at sometime…deep inside resides the If monster and his keeper, Old Man When. If only I had enough time…If I only had more money…If I could only meet the “right” person…If I could only get a break…If I was younger I could… If I was better looking… If I could only lose weight…. If other people only understood me… If I only had the talent other people have… If I could only just get started… If… If… If Sound Familiar? How about the IF monster’s keeper; Old Man When? When I get some free time…When I save some money…When my children get older… When I retire I will…When I lose this weight…When I meet the right person…When times get better…When I get a break…When I get my business started…When business gets better… Recognize this person? Most of us have good intentions. Most of us want the best for our families and ourselves. Inside most of us is a desire for success. So why do many people have the If monster and his crony inside of them? Because good intentions never bring about change. In fact, good intentions are just dreams that never get fulfilled. People who do not succeed in getting what they desire have one distinguishing trait in common. They know all the reasons for failure and have what they believe to be airtight alibis to support them and explain away their own lack of achievement. Some alibis are clever and a few are even supported and justifiable by facts. We all have circumstances that prevent us from accomplishing something at sometime in our lives. Challenges arise and we constantly have to re-prioritize our “want” list. But what most people DON”T know is that they can SLAY the “IF” monster, defeat his keeper and take back control of their lives.
#1) The first step is to take inventory of you. A good, critical evaluation of self. Make a list of good points and bad. This isn’t a session of self abuse but a realistic look at what others see. Maybe your impression of self is that you are gregarious, funny, good looking, charming, athletic, and people clamor to be by your side. But if you notice that you have few friends, don’t date much, and people avoid you like a SARS carrier, maybe it’s time to look in the mirror and be completely honest with yourself. Notice the key word in “self-improvement” is self. Without a realistic picture, there can be no improvement. Also remember that the old nemesis “IF” thrives on three keys elements; Indecision, Doubt and Fear. In his great book, “Think and Grow Rich”, Napoleon Hill states “Indecision is the seedling of fear. Indecision crystallizes into Doubt and the two blend into Fear”. This “blending” process happens very slowly. In fact what makes these three key elements so very dangerous to our success is that they germinate, prosper and grow with their presence being known. #2) Eliminate Doubt Now I know what I just wrote is not easy. It requires effort and therefore most people will never get out of the doldrums they have placed themselves into. But the second step MUST be to eliminate that which keeps you stuck in the first place. You must not be afraid to take a step forward. Doubt is generally expressed through alibis and excuses that are designed to cover up, explain away, or apologize for one’s failures. It also sometimes takes the form of envying those who are successful or criticizing those that have achieved what the person desires. Instead of falling back on your racket, that is, the same excuses or habits that have keep you prisoner of the IF monster, take a chance and break the mold. Imagine doing something just for you that is completely out of the ordinary. I mean WAY out there. Take your best “IF” and say it to yourself…. Example: Before:If I only had more money I could… Now, take the chains off that IF monster and set him loose… Instead of saying, “IF I only could”…start that same sentence out with the word WHAT After: What If I had more money… Imagine what you could do…. imagine the possibilities. Now, notice how that felt. Scary wasn’t it? But, somewhere, there just may have been a kernel, a seed planted, some sort of knowledge that IT WAS OK TO DO IT! When that seed becomes planted, now you begin to sow the seeds of change, of possibility. See yourself doing the steps it takes to achieve that goal. Then begin to imagine the outcome. Now all that it left is action. #3) Over Caution: Over caution is the habit of looking for the negative side of every possible venture. Thinking and talking of possible failure instead of planning success. It’s easy to know all the roads to disaster, but sometimes hard to discover the map for success. Waiting for the “right” time to put your ideas into play will never happen because in life, the “right” time is NOW…RIGHT NOW! When you wait for the right time to begin…waiting becomes a permanent habit. You can see the hole in the doughnut…but overlook the entire doughnut itself. Waiting becomes a habit, leading to procrastination, leading to pessimism, leading to heartburn, leading to bad breath…leading to… Ok, so maybe not bad breath, but let’s face it, waiting for the right time to come, never does. Get off the couch and start NOW! You only have one life, make every day something that you are proud of living. #4) Procrastination Putting of till tomorrow what you should have done LAST YEAR! If you’re a “normal” human, some time in your life you probably have been guilty of this. So you get one point. But that’s the only one you get. It’s when we allow procrastination to rule our lives that complacency sets in and that old IF monster gets bigger because he gets his food from procrastination. Refusal to accept responsibility when it can easily be avoided. Willingness to compromise yourself when you should be fighting for change. Compromising difficulties instead of harnessing them up and using them as stepping-stones to advancement. Bargaining with life…instead of demanding prosperity, riches and contentment. Planning what to do IF and when overtaken by failure, instead of burning all bridges and making defeat and retreat impossible. In ancient times, generals bent on conquering a new country would land on it’s shores in boats, then order those boats burned. By burning the boats, they offered their men no retreat. The only way back home was to conquer and build new boats. Burn your procrastination boat and allow no retreat. Building alibi’s for our failures is a national pastime. The habit is as old as the human race and is always fatal to success. Elbert Hubbard once wrote; “It has always been a mystery to me why people spend so much time deliberately fooling themselves by creating alibis to cover their weaknesses. If used differently, this same time could be used to cure their weaknesses, then no alibis would be needed.” Napoleon Hill wrote; “Life is like a checkerboard and the player opposite you is TIME. If you hesitate before moving promptly, your men will be wiped off the board by TIME. You are playing against a partner who will not tolerate indecision.” Before you began to read this article you may have had a logical excuse for not having forced life to come through with whatever you asked…you may have just sat back and wished life to deliver it’s riches to you…you may have had rackets that you played well, convincing yourself you weren’t worthy, skilled or deserving. But by reading this article my hope is that you have begun to destroy those myths about yourself, taken out your sword and once and for all, SLAYED THE IF MONSTER. Congratulations on the first day of your new life.
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